Godzilla the conference

 So apparently Texas and Oklahoma are now knocking on the SEC's door, which would reduce the Big 12 to the Big Ten, which would be a problem because there's already a Big Ten, even if the folks who run it can't count and it's actually the Big 14 these days.

Also, it has an ACC school, a Big East school and a Big 12 school in it, which is contrary to nature and should invalidate its very existence in the Blob's opinion.

But then, the Blob can shout "Get a horse!" and shake its bony liver-spotted fist all it wants, time will continue to leave it choking on its dust. All the Blob can do is fall back on its famously warped imagination for solace, envisioning a day when the SEC roams the college landscape like Godzilla, stomping rhetorical Tokyos flat and absorbing every school everywhere except a few scattered holdouts ...

INSIDE THE COMPOUND AT DIRECTIONAL HYPHEN STATE -- Surrounded by students chanting "Hell, no, we won't go!", the president of Directional Hyphen State, Myron Horatio Conundrum, maintained a defiant stance as the SEC continued its siege of his school into the 168th day.

"I don't care if Nick Saban himself tries to scale the walls of this compound with a legion of Crimson Tides and Nittany Lions from over there at Penn State," Conundrum declared. "We will not submit. We will never submit!"

Directional Hyphen State has been the lone holdout to the SEC's complete control of Division I athletics since it absorbed the Ivies and a handful of scattered SUNYs six months ago. The last school to capitulate was Western Connecticut School of Dental Flossing, which protested "Hell, we don't even PLAY football or basketball! OK, we do, but we really suck at it!"

Directional Hyphen State, meanwhile, continues to show a brave face even as the SEC tightens its grip and deploys battalions of Harvard lawyers waving writs and cease-and-desist orders.

"They nearly breached the south wall the other day, but we beat them back with a squad of mercenaries from Yale," Conundrum said. "To hell with the SEC. They can have Texas and Oklahoma. They can even have Notre Dame and the Big Ten, including those two posers from the ACC and Big East. But they'll never get us!"