Bear-ly possible

Well, this can't happen. You can bet your throwback Decatur Staleys jersey on that.

First, Russell Wilson's agent says his client isn't demanding a trade, says he's just fine with staying in Seattle, doesn't know how these things get started.

Then his agent says but if he were to be traded, there are only four teams to whom he'd want to go. Which of course is how these things get started.

The four teams?

The Saints. The Cowboys. The Raiders. And ... your Chicago Bears.

Let me tell you why the latter is never-ever-ever going to happen.

It's never-ever-ever going to happen because history is a badass, and history will swat the notion of Wilson-to-the-Bears into the cheap seats like Dikembe Motumbo swatting a floater in the lane. History will not allow an elite quarterback to suit up for the Bears, because the Bears don't do elite quarterbacks. Never have. 

You have to go back to Sid Luckman to find a Bears quarterback who would have been considered elite in his time, and Sid Luckman has been dead for 22 years. He last played for the Bears in 1950, when the Cold War was a thing. Since then it's been a little Billy Wade and a dash of Jack Concannon and Bobby Douglass, and a dollop of Vince Evans and Gary Huff and Peter Tom Willis and even Doug Flutie.

Oh, and Jim McMahon -- who wasn't that good, either, but won a Super Bowl because he had a great defense and got to hand off to Walter Payton a lot.

These days the QB1 is Mitch Trubisky, who pretty much fits the Bears quarterback template like he was born to it. He's OK, but not too OK. He can do the math, quarterback-wise, but don't make him do trig or calculus. He's the 2021 Bob Avellini Action Figure, which doesn't yet come with Kung-Fu Grip.

What he isn't is Russell Wilson. Nor ever will be.

No, Russell Wilson in a Bears suit is something history and its sidekick tradition simply will not allow, lest it unleash horrible cosmic events. An awful disturbance in the Force would happen if somehow Russell Wilson stepped foot in Halas Hall. The heavens would rain fire. Frogs would speak Latin. George Halas himself might rise from the dead, wondering what fool thing those damn McCaskeys have done this time.

So ... no. Wilson-to-the-Bears is possible, but it's not possible. So put it right out of your mind, Mikey in Winnetka.

Yeah, I know. History's a friggin' Cheesehead.