News of the weak

So now we know there is a fourth Latin word in the Olympic creed, and it is not one of which any of the Caesars would have been familiar.

Citius, altius, fortius, sure. But wimpius?

That's the one that's not like the others but sticks nonetheless, with the news coming down that the Russians are up to their usual Snidely Whiplash shenanigans. It's not enough that they monkeyed with an American election four years ago and just hacked the bejeebers out of all our government agencies. Oh, no.

Seems they've also resumed pumping their Olympic athletes full of illicit go-juice.

In response, the international sporting community ... well, didn't exactly cast them into outer darkness.

No, sir. Those iron-fisted disciplinarians instead essentially sent Ivan straight to bed after supper. And no dessert for you, mister!

Again!

See, what they did was what they did the last time they caught the Russians making their athletes glow in the dark, which is ban them from using their national flag and anthem in the succeeding Olympics and attendant world championships. This was such a deterrent hardly anyone noticed, least of all the Russians. Their athletes still got to compete and still got to stand on the podium wearing gold, silver or bronze around their necks.  Officials could have raised a giant Whatsamatta U. flag and played a Taylor Swift song for all those athletes cared.

Well, now those officials have really fixed the cheaters' wagon, though. They've decreed the Russians can't compete under their flag or play their anthem in any international competition for the next two years.

That'll learn 'em!

Now, I know what you're asking here. You're asking, "Mr. Blob, why didn't these officials just kick the Russians out altogether for the next two years? And for the next two Olympics for good measure, seeing how they're shameless repeat offenders?"

The easy answer is they're all worthless and weak, to quote Neidermeyer from "Animal House." The more complex answer, built on nothing but wild speculation, is they're worthless and weak because they're familiar with Vladimir Putin's habit of poisoning people who cross him. No one wants to wind up with a spot of hemlock in their tea, or have some glowing radioactive material surreptitiously tumble down their necks ala Homer Simpson.

On the other hand, this being the IOC and various other international sports organizations, perhaps there was some bribery involved. It would hardly be the first time.

In any case, off Ivan goes to bed after supper, and without dessert.

Rolling his eyes, no doubt. Snickering, no doubt.