The return of blecch

So, remember just the other day, when the Blob was saying stuff about Your Indiana Hoosiers like they've finally found an identity, and they're prolly almost for sure a 20-win team (Hey, they're 15-4 and tied for second in the Big Ten!), and how living down low with their bigs was going to define them from here on out?

Well ... um ...

The Blob was partly right about that.

Wednesday night at Penn State, the Hoosiers did live down low, getting a combined 33  points and 20 rebounds from Joey Brunk, Justin Smith and Trayce Jackson-Davis. And they did outrebound the Nittany Lions 44-38. And, well, everything was cool, right?

Well ... um ...

That's if you don't mention the 64-49 tattooing they got, on top of the splendid gag-aroo at home against Maryland -- six-point lead with 68 seconds to play; outscored 7-0 the rest of the way. That's if you don't mention that they still die of thirst outside the paint, even if periodically they give the faithful hope by managing to hit the ocean from the beach once in awhile.

Not Wednesday night, though. Nope, nuh-uh, no sir, negatory.

Here, for instance, were the numbers for starting guards Robert Phinisee and Al Durham: Five points, 1-of-13 shooting, four turnovers. Combined.

Here were the numbers for the guards who also played, Armaan Franklin and Devonte Green: Five points, 2-of-13 shooting, three turnovers. Combined.

That's 3-of-26 from the floor from Indiana's backcourt, if you're keeping score at home. You could make 3-of-26 just blindly heaving the ball at the rim. The Aflac duck could make more than 3-of-26, and he doesn't even have hands.

And I know what you're asking now: "Where does Archie Miller find these guys who can't shoot?"

That is an excellent question. And I don't have an answer. I don't know if Archie has a special Guys Who Can't Shoot app on his phone, or if he just happens to catch them on the one night in high school when they can find their hindparts with search planes. Or if they can find their hindparts with search planes, but magically forget how as soon as they slip on that jersey with "Indiana" on the front.

And, yes, I know, the Big Ten isn't high school. But no defense in the history of man has ever been good enough to make a team shoot 3-of-26 without getting a big assist from the shooters. So, there's that.

There's also this: Apparently Indiana's identity is not just to live down low with their bigs, but to be inconsistent. In which case the Hoosiers appear to be no different than anyone else in college basketball this winter.

A ray of sunshine at last.