Oh, Super

So I see here on my magic wizard phone that eBay has MANY, MANY BOXES available of Mahomes Magic Crunch cereal (a HyVee product!), and so get on there and START BIDDING NOW. 

I mean, who needs wings and pizza at your Super Bowl party when you can serve heaping bowls of glorified sugar frosted flakes?

Thus we have officially entered the Echo Chamber O' Hype that is Super Bowl Week, which always begins with that tasteful display of gang "journalism" (pronounced, "Hey, Bill Belichick, put on this red plastic tricorn hat!") known as Super Bowl Media Day. Or, as it's known now, Super Bowl Opening Night.

Super Bowl Opening Night was a much more somber affair than usual last night, because the sudden death of Kobe Bryant cast a shadow over everything. Everyone asked Kobe questions; everyone answered with stories about having a Kobe poster on his bedroom wall growing up, or drawing inspiration from the Mamba Mentality that was Kobe's warrior code, or becoming Lakers fans because of Kobe. It was a remarkable display of just how much influence Kobe wielded on an entire generation, influence that transcended a particular sport or even sports in general.

So there was that. And there will be five more days of learning everything there is to know about every significant player involved in Super LIV, and endless jabbering about whether or not the 49ers fearsome defense can slow down the incandescent Patrick Mahomes, and finally the Detailed Breakdown Of Who Will Win And Why.

Me, I prefer non-detailed breakdowns. Which is why, sitting next to my laptop right now, looking exceptionally fierce considering they're only an inch tall and mostly head, are a tiny Patrick Mahomes figurine and a tiny Nick Bosa figurine.

They were given to me by a kindly bartender at Casa's, who was in turn given them by a couple of kindly diners. Knowing her regulars, she made me promise not to put them in my mouth. I upped the ante by also promising not to stick them up my nose or in my ear.

(Although who wouldn't want to see that visit to the emergency room? "Hey, doc, come 'ere! We need a Patrick Mahomes extraction, stat!")

Anyway, my Detailed Breakdown, at least five days out from the Big Roman Numeral, is this: When I opened the package Bosa and Mahomes were riding in, Bosa fell out first.

So, there ya go. Looks like it's the 49ers.

And you thought you could get analysis like that just anywhere.