Independence Day

... in which the Ungrateful Colonials, aka the U.S. Women's National Soccer Team, delivered yet another indignity to the Haughty Imperials, beating England 2-1 in the World Cup semis thanks to a fortuitously reversed English goal and a clutch stop by Alyssa Naeher on a British penalty kick.

And of course, the Ungrateful Colonials weren't even properly respectful about it, being the uncouth American rabble they are. After one USWNT goal, Alex Morgan was actually seen miming sipping tea! How cheeky! What arrogance! Like dumping that tea in Boston Harbor wasn't affront enough!

And that it happened on July 2, the actual date when Adams and the rest of the whining, loudmouthed lot signed that insufferable document, the "Declaration of Independence" ...

Well. The Brits were no doubt steaming. And especially about the independence part, because even on this side of the pond there's a segment of society that abhors the idea of independent women, particularly if those women exercise it in a manner men in particular don't agree with.

And, listen: The American women are nothing if not independent.

There is of course Megan Rapinoe, who sat out with a touchy hamstring and was unneeded in any case. She's exactly the sort of woman insecure men like, say, Our Only Available President loathe, because she has thoughts and expresses them and doesn't give a rip what men like OOAP think about it. That she's been the American star of this World Cup -- Captain America, if you will -- must particularly dig at OOAP and his ilk.

She leads a team that's fierce, talented and, shall we say, overflowing with confidence -- in other words, exactly the sort of qualities that make male athletes immortal icons. Which is to say, if Megan Rapinoe or Alex Morgan were a man, they'd be putting up statues of them.

Miming drinking tea, no doubt.