A sharper image

Take a good look at this guy, and tell me body shaming didn't just get its lights turned out by a right hook to the dome. That is Andy Ruiz Jr., and that dude he's punching in the head is former world heavyweight champion Anthony Joshua.

Anthony Joshua looks like he was chiseled out of granite. Andy Ruiz Jr. looks like he was chiseled out of Wendy's triples. Yet Andy Ruiz Jr. is about to introduce Joshua to the seat of his pants, and not for the first time. Practically every time anyone blinked the other night, Ruiz was taking Joshua to Fist City. Finally, Joshua essentially said, "Screw this."

TKO, Andy. He was an 11-1 dog, but he now owns all three of Joshua's title belts. And no one's ever going to make fat jokes about him ever again, unless they want to wind up lying on their backs studying the constellations.

This is a huge win for People Who Do Not Resemble Yoga Instructors, which is to say most of us. Andy's upset, one of the biggest in recent boxing history, is a victory for all of us. It's a victory for everyone who ever declined to go swimming in public, because that would entail taking off their shirt. It's a victory for everyone who fretted over their muffin tops.

Well, just look at Andy. He's not afraid to take off his shirt, and he has more muffin tops than that guy on Drury Lane. And, yet ...

And yet, he's a total badass. Total. Badass.

I don't know about you. But that makes me feel like taking off my shirt.

OK. So I promise not to do that.

But yes, Drive-Thru Person. I would like fries with that.