The Lake Show, Act Whatever Plus One

Family spats are always the ugliest. This is because only family knows exactly what buttons to push, and how hard, and how insistently.

Which brings us to the unrelieved soap opera/clown car that are the Los Angeles Lakers, where there's more backstabbing and throwing-under-the-bus going on than at a Lannister family picnic.

Our latest episode finds Magic Johnson, who quit as president of the Lakers in April without telling anyone, going on ESPN to hang out the unwashed laundry. Among other things, Magic said he quit because he'd been told he would answer only to Jeannie Buss, chauffeur of the clown car and unofficial family member. Instead, Magic says he also found himself answering to Tim Harris, president of business operations, and GM Rob Pelinka. Magic didn't like that, so he quit.

Also, he says Pelinka backstabbed him by whispering about how Magic was never in the office. This despite Magic pretty much admitting that he was never in the office.

Of course, Buss brought this on herself by telling Magic his job would be kinda-sorta part-time. And Magic brought it on himself by, again, not showing up for said job, not bothering to tell anyone in the Lakers organization he was quitting (not even Buss, which seems like a lousy way to treat "family"), and never letting on to Buss he specifically had a problem with Pelinka until he dropped that bombshell on national TV.

So, to summarize: Pelinka backstabs Magic. Magic backstabs Buss. Buss backstabs herself, which is a hell of a trick if you think about it.

That's a lot of stabbiness. That's more stabbiness than March 15 in the Roman senate.

And, meanwhile, what's LeBron James thinking?

A few possibilities:

1. "Damn. I picked the wrong L.A. team."

2. "Maybe I can go home AGAIN."

3. "Zion for me? Sure. I bet I can sell 'em on that."

4. "I mean, AD says New Orleans is awesome."