Those damn women

You know the guy had one, back in the day. You just know it.

You know, when Jared Hensley was 8-years-old, he had a tree fort in his backyard. He and all his little goober pals used to hang out there, trading baseball cards and talking about how icky girls are. And just to drive home the point, they hung a crude sign over the tree fort's entryway.

NO GURLZ ALOUD, it read.

Now, Hensley isn't 8-years-old anymore, but plainly his inner 8-year-old is alive and well. The athletic director and assistant principal at Soddy-Daisy High School near Chattanooga, Tenn., he let the little fella out for a romp the other day, saying in a video for the student body that girls "pretty much ruin everything."

No, really. That's what he said.

As an alleged grownup.

As an alleged educator.

As a possibly chemically altered alleged educator.

(More on that later.)

In any case, the  context for this was Hensley announcing a ban on wearing athletic shorts, dress codes being a particularly stubborn nervous tic for regimes with a totalitarian bent, like school systems and the National Football League. No explanation is given, by Hensley or anyone else, why athletic shorts suddenly became an issue at Soddy-Daisy. Very likely there isn't one that makes a jot of sense to anyone outside the school system bubble. That's the way these things usually go.

Similarly, Hensley offers no explanation for why the athletic shorts ban is all the girls' fault. It just is.

"If you really want someone to blame someone, blame the girls," is all he says.

Well, and also, "Ask Adam, look at Eve -- you can really go back to the beginning of time."

(To which God no doubt replied, and not for the first time: "Wait, what?  Oh, for my sake. Look, don't be dragging Genesis into this. I thought I told you people to stop that. Not until you get the story straight, anyway.")

Anyway ... Ask Adam? Look at Eve?

I'm sorry, what?

Look. I guess the most a reasonable person can conclude is Hensley was trying to be funny, and didn't do a very good job of it. The other possibility is one to which the Blob has already alluded -- i.e., maybe the guy was half-lit on either adult beverages or some sort of Brain-Party-In-A-Softgel. This is probably unfair, but, really, can you read his comments (or better yet, watch the video) and not think the guy sounded less than Sunday-morning sober?

Then again, maybe he was just following the current national zeitgeist, given what's happening in Washington today. All those Republican good old boys watching their pet Supreme Court nominee (whom they clearly didn't vet very well in their rush to install him) getting hamstrung by a bunch of pesky damn women?  Think they're not a loud chorus of amens right now for Hensley's contention that Girls Ruin Everything?

They could, after all, wind up derailing Brett Kavanaugh, party boy/groper turned Supreme Court nominee. And Hensley, for saying dumb stuff about girls, got a an administrative sit-down for his misogynist manifesto.

Which, by the way, was titled "A Helping of Hensley."

Well. It was a helping of something. That's for sure.