A few brief thoughts on NFL Week 1

And now the triumphant return of The NFL In So Many Words, the longtime Blob staple of which critics have said "'Staple?' Is that like a stomach staple?" and "Can we just 'staple' this to the author's forehead?":

But first, this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XWJ9wGuGuc

1. Jimmy Garoppolo is the greatest thing since sliced bread!

2. Dak Prescott is the greatest thing since sliced multigrain bread!

3. Carson Wentz is the greatest thing since that really good crusty bread they serve in Italian restaurants!

4. RG III II Point Oh is the greatest thing since ... OK, now you're just being silly.

5. Complete this sentence: The Detroit Lions went through the Colts D at the end like ...

6. That familiar sick feeling in the pit of a Browns fan's stomach as he watched RGIII II Point Oh.

7. Sherman through Georgia.

8. A samurai sword through papier mache.

9. That familiar sick feeling in the pit of a Colts' fan's stomach as he watched the Lions go through the Colts D like all of the above.

And last but not least ...

10. Don't fret, L.A. Someday you'll get a pro football team.