One touched Knick

James Dolan may not be the worst owner in professional sports. But he could win an Oscar for the portrayal.

Dolan has been the owner of the New York Knicks for 16 years, a stewardship notable only for the ironic use of the word "stewardship." Under Dolan's hand, the Knicks have won just three playoff series. They've had 10 losing seasons. They've made comically disastrous signings, hired Isiah Thomas and generally devolved from one of the NBA's landmark franchises into a laughing stock. So far this season, they're the worst team in the league at 10-42.

And so, taking all that into consideration, a longtime Knicks fan sent Dolan an e-mail. It was not a nice e-mail, but it was accurate. Basically the author ran down Dolan's resume as owner, then pleaded with him to sell the team before he could again do something stupid.

Too late.

In response, Dolan attacked his attacker by theorizing that he was miserable human being who was a burden to his family and likely an alcoholic. And that, as such, the Knicks didn't want him. He could go root for the Nets instead.

It's unclear what sort of font Dolan used to frame his reply.  But if there's a font called "Childish Scrawl,"  that would have been perfect.

Listen. I'm not James Dolan, and thank God for that. But I've gotten my share of nasty e-mails over the years, too. What you learn very quickly to do is simply delete the personal attacks, and send a measured response to those who criticize in a measured fashion.

Dolan chose the I'll Channel My Inner 3-Year-Old approach instead. And you know the worst part?

The worst part is NBA commissioner Adam Silver essentially shrugged, saying only that Dolan was being "the consummate New Yorker." To which, if I were a New Yorker, I would have taken offense, given that Silver essentially implied that all New Yorkers are petulant jackasses with the emotional maturity of a toddler.

Maybe a lot of them are. But the ones I've met aren't.

Of course, I've never met James Dolan.

Thank God.