Today in nuptuality

 The word is Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are getting hitched tomorrow night in Madison Square Garden, and, man, I am jacked. Celebrity weddings always make me cry.

And by "make me cry", I mean, "Make me cry 'Holy crap, how much did THAT cost??'"

And by "THAT", I mean the fanfare trumpeters dressed as 17th century lords, the solid gold coach pulled by four horses bred from Secretariat's DNA, and of course the miniature Lake Como, complete with swans.

Now, I don't know if Tay and Trav will have any of those in MSG. But since it's MSG, I do wonder if Trav will complete the nuptualities with a ceremonial dunk.

I also wonder some other things ...

* Will Tay sing at her own wedding?

(I'm guessing no. But if so, I suggest "We're Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together" as a final shot at all her previous boyfriends.)

* What will the cake look like?

(I'm guessing a painstakingly faithful recreation of Arrowhead Stadium as big as a Tournament of Roses parade float.)

* Will there be tiny figures of Tay in Spandex and Trav in his Chiefs jersey on top? 

(Please. Like you even have to ask that?)

* Will Tay's dress have a train so long it ties up traffic out on 33rd Street?

(Nah. Manhattan traffic's bad enough as it is, and consequently it would just piss off a lot of New Yorkers. And you never want to piss off New Yorkers.)

* Will the groomsmen hang a "Just Married" sign on the back of the gold coach, and tie empty PBR cans to it? 

(Oh, come on. PBR? Guinness talboys, maybe. Or special edition Cristal-In-A-Can.)

* Since it's MSG, will Spike Lee get to sit in his usual courtside seat, and will Caitlin Clark show up?

(No on both counts. But if Caitlin's there, I figure Alyssa Thomas or Chennedy Carter will run out and knock her down, just out of habit.)

And last but not least ...

* Will Patrick Mahomes be the ring boy? Will Jake from State Farm be a good neighbor? Will Jason Kelce wear pants?

(Answers: No ... of course ... maybe.)

(At least initially.)

Youth will out, but ...

 OK, then. So Maya Joint was not thinking "OMG! It's Serena Williams!" after all.

Won the first set yesterday on Centre Court at Wimbledon, 6-3.

Lost the second set in a tiebreaker, 7-6 (OMG! It's Serena Williams!).

Sucked it up and won the third and deciding set, 6-3.

Thus it was the kid taking down the GOAT in the match everyone was looking forward to, and, listen, it lived up to the billing. The 20-year-old was, well, 20 years old. The 44-year-old, icon or no, was 44. Youth will out, more times than not, no matter how unequal the resume.

At least it wasn't a 6-3, 6-3 snoozer, as one might have reasonably expected when a woman more than half her opponent's age -- and who's been a professional for three years -- faces a woman who's been retired four years but decided, for whatever reason, to give Wimbledon another go.

Even Serena was wondering if Serena was nuts. Or something very like it.

But a champion remains a champion, no matter what the driver's license says. And so after losing the first set, Serena Williams did not just say "Ah, I knew this was crazy", take a 6-0 bagel in the second set and wave to the crowd on her way (presumably) back into retirement.

Not a chance. In the second set the champion, and the champion's will, emerged. She matched the kid shot for shot and game for game, and when it came time to settle it in the tiebreaker, the resume won out over the young heart and legs.

Call it a curtain call, of sorts -- one glimpse of Serena before leaving Centre Court for (presumably) the final time.

Doesn't matter what happens for the next two weeks. That second set was your Wimby moment for 2026.